Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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