I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
