i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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