three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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