I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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