i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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