she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize