im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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