I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
