whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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