Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize