How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
