i think my mom watched the whole time
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize