so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Send help, water and tortillas.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
