i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
