If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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