don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
