Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
