i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
operation harelip BJ is a go
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
