I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
