So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
