he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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