We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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