If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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