Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
