Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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