Do you still have your period?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
