im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
