you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
