My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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