i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
