All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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