Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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