I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
