i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
