I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
