Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
