I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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