we have pet lesbian snakes
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
