K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize