that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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