And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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