Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
