Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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