Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
