she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
