I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
