I can tuck mytits in my pants
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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