You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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