lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
