Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
