Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
