Don't you send me to vm
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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