i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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