? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We left the knife in your bed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
