I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is the high leading the old right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize