I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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