I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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