She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
