Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His nipple licking is glorious
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