who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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